Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
Randomize
