Swine flu. Run for my life!
Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
Randomize
