My grandmother just called to say she disowned me. Apparently I uploaded a video to Youtube of me dancing nude with a blow-up doll named Dorothy, last night. You are so fired from being damage control.
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
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