im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
Randomize
