my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
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