Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
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