on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
My life is pants optional.
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