It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Randomize
