I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
Randomize
