Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
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