I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
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