What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Randomize
