Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
