talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
Randomize
