You just made me feel so damn special
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
Randomize
