seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Randomize
