We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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