just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
Randomize
