So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
Randomize
