Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
Randomize
