kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
I woke up with my phone plugged into an extension cord in my garage. No clue how I got home. Videos of me flogging my roommate with my set of keys telling him he's the worst roommate ever. And my mom woke me up at 8am asking how to make a DVD...Goddamnit first Friday.
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
Randomize
