I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
I'm going to save the lime from my McDonald's salad to use in my Corona later tonight.
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
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