he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
So many bounce houses so little time
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
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