You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
Everclear isn't food dammit
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize