maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
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