she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
you're like a bully in the Christmas story
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
I forgot to tell you, that tinder guy literally lives 15 floors beneath me. I have been creepily saying things to him like "I see youve got a hammer on the patio"
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you donโt have to recycle anymore ๐๐
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Randomize