If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
he kept farting in my kitchen and blaming it on the dog. then we went to wendy's and he spent twenty minutes in the bathroom. im pretty sure he shit his pants.
you should have known when you found out he drove a mini cooper not to hang out with him.
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
