A little boy walked by his parents room one night, looked through the keyhole, and said "and that bitch tells me to stop sucking my thumb!"
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
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