He asked me if I "almost moaned"
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
Randomize