I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Randomize
