It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
Randomize
