Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
I just farted so loud that my cat got so scared he fell off the couch.
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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