its not stalking. its research.
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
Randomize
