Cold hands, warm shart.
Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
Randomize
