Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
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