Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
Randomize
