I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
Randomize
