last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
Randomize
