In the future we'll all be gay
The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
vagina is talking i cant
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
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