I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
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