69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
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