Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
Randomize
