i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
Randomize
