I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
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