You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
Randomize
