Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
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