6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
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