That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
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