Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
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