Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
I deserve to be covered in dicks
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
Randomize
