Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
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