i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
My dick has a subreddit
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
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