this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Randomize
