i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
Randomize
