we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
Fun fact: My predictive text now prompts "walrus" as the most likely word to follow "intoxicated"...
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
