:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
Randomize
