So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
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