Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
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