I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
Randomize
