That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
my soul wont recognize me after tonight
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
Randomize
