mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
Randomize
