I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
